Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Friday Induction!

We had a crazy last couple of days.
First, We drove down to where "S" is going to deliver baby Tah-nee because we thought she was going to be induced.
We then learned that the doctor did not want to induce that night but if we stayed one more night in town, they will try to talk to him the next day.
We ended up being very blessed by getting to be at "S" doctors appointment.
It was a wonderful opportunity to get to know her better and hopefully help her feel more peaceful about what she has decided to do.
At the end of her doctors appointment, the doctor told her that he will induce her on Friday! 
We are so excited!
 
There are so many things running through my mind as we get closer to Friday.
The first thing I am is just plain excited.
We have prayed for this child for a VERY long time and the fact that it is only two short days away makes me incredibly joyful.
I am feeling the need to prepare(yet again) but also not wanted to prepare for fear of something bad happening.
I am also feeling a bit nervous about how we are going to pay for this.
So, there are plenty of things you guys can be praying about!
 
The one thing I am completely sure about is that we are VERY ready to have this sweet baby in our arms and in our family.
Your prayers over the next couple of days would be very appreciated!
 
Also, if you are not on our "secret" facebook page yet, I will be giving more detailed updates on there...so just let me know and I will add you!

Saturday, July 19, 2014

God IS Faithful

There have been a lot of heartbreaking things that have happened during this adoption process.
I am sure that we have yet to experience all of the heart break that adoption can cause.
The thing that hearts the heart the most,
The one thing that I just can't accept,
is the people who have decided against adoption because of our difficult journey.
 
There are not many, but there are some, who were thinking about or planning on adoption.
After seeing us lose tons of money and go through what I can only explain as emotional chaos, they have decided adoption is not for them.
 
I feel as if I have failed in some area.
I feel like I have whined and complained far too much.
I feel like there is something I should have done differently.
 
Because this journey we have been on has been nothing short of a life changing miracle.
I would not trade the journey for 100 adopted kids.
The man and woman who started an adoption from Ethiopia 2 1/2 years ago are long gone.
They have been replaced by braver, more faithful, more Godly people.
 
This journey has been full of more agonizing waiting and bad news than I could have thought I could survive.
 
But...
 
The Lord is soooo good!
He has drawn us close to Him.
He has shown us how to REALLY persevere.
He has shown us how to TRUST.
He has shown us how to LOVE.
 
We have never felt him so powerfully blessing our lives as we have since we started adopting.
There is so much JOY when Jesus is living in you.
It does not matter how much this world tries to bring us down.
We feel happy when we feel the Lord holding us up.
 
So yes...
We have experienced more heart ache than we ever thought we could handle.
But we have also felt more JOY than we ever thought could exist.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Meeting "S"

We just got home from spending the day down in Phoenix meeting "S".
It went so much better than I could have even hoped!
She was beyond wonderful.
She was so sweet and so open with us.
 
She had a lot of good questions that really showed how much she cares about the baby.
It fascinates me to discover a little about what is on a woman's mind as she chooses a family for her child.
She asked us questions about why we are adopting.
She asked about our faith and our involvement in church.
She was concerned that we wouldn't love the baby as much as we love our biological children.
She was concerned we would have an issue with the fact that the baby will be "brown".
 
If only she could understand the LOVE we have for the child she is carrying.
This journey that we have gone through for her has been nothing short of exhausting and it is completely worth it!
The moment we saw the ultrasound picture, we were completely in love.
We hope that our meeting gave her peace that we will love and care for her child just as if she came from my own body.
 
"S" is completely ready to be induced and had some really bad complications with the last baby.
The doctor wants to give her one more week and let that baby really get ready before he considers induction.
I of course want the baby to be here...like yesterday...but I know that Gods timing is perfect and if the baby is not ready, shes not ready.
"S" has an appointment scheduled for Monday July 21st. 
She is going to request to be induced again, we will see what happens!
 
For now, we are enjoying our sweet little babies face.
 
I can't wait to kiss those chubby cheeks.
At only 35 weeks, the ultrasound said she weighed 7 pounds!
Shes going to be a big girl!

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Meeting the Birth Mom Part - 1

We drove down to Phoenix today to meet "S".
We left at 7am because we wanted to take Irelyn to Butterfly Wonderland.
We got there at 9am and as soon as we got there, we got a call from our agency saying that they are not sure if the meeting is going to happen.
 
Oh Brother!  Here we go again!
That was my initial reaction.
It really was not a big deal.
 
"S" had something come up with her kiddos and couldn't find someone to watch them.
She did not want to bring them to our meeting (understandable) and canceled.
We were disappointed that it did not work out but we were so pleased with how well she communicated with the agency.
It was so nice to just know what was going on.
 
We of course can not wait to meet her and rescheduled for Friday afternoon.
Hopefully that meeting will work out and I will have a much more interesting story to share next time:)

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

God Pulls Through...Every Single Time!

Tonight, we have a whole lot of good news.
The Lord has blessed us with a match to another birth mom.
This mama is having a GIRL and is due in just 4 SHORT WEEKS!!!!
 
We are beyond thrilled and feeling so blessed and so "in line" with Gods will.
We feel this peace and excitement about this birth mom that we have never felt before.
The fact that God orchestrated such an unimaginable series of events to bring us to this baby gives me butterflies and fills my heart with excitement for what the Lord has next.
 
I will call this birth mother "S" to maintain her privacy.
She seems so sweet and so open.
She is asking for an open adoption which we are just thrilled about.
We can't wait to start loving on her!
We are meeting her for the first time tomorrow afternoon. 
We are praying that this meeting is the beginning of a lifelong friendship.
  Below is a little meeting gift we picked up for "S".

 
Pray for...
 
Please pray for our meeting to go well tomorrow.  This "S's" first adoption and she is bound to be nervous to meet us.  I get pretty nervous myself.
 
Please pray for God to provide for this financially.  This second match is putting a pretty big strain on us to come up with money very quickly.  We know the Lord will provide.

Please pray for "S's" heart as she makes this very difficult decision. I can't even imagine what she is going through right now.
 

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Our Decision

We have taken a week to really pray and reflect on our current situation.
We have had such a rough go in our international adoption journey, we just thought our domestic journey would be a breeze.
We were pretty shocked by the loss of Penelope and it left us feeling completely helpless and confused.
 
Last week, we really weren't sure if we would keep pursuing a domestic adoption or not.
Emotionally, we are exhausted and don't really feel like going through the process again.
Its hard waiting for a match and then waiting for a due date....never really knowing if you are really going to end up with a child at the end.
We love ALL of these children so deeply that having two of them living on the other side of the world and one who will never come home is incredibly draining.
Part of us wanted to just give up on domestic adoption and start building our family the "old fashion way."
Part of us still felt God's gentle nudging to continue on.
 
We are also feeling pretty stretched financially.
When thinking about if we should continue on to another match or not, fiances were something we were definitely considering.
We want to be good Stuarts of the Lords money and want to be sure where He is telling us to spend it.
 
We also had some people come to us and tell us that they do not believe its Gods will for us to continue on this road.
There are people who feel like this failed adoption is a sign that we need to stop adopting kids.
People that feel that our own desire to adopt a child is keeping us from doing what the Lord wants us to do.
 
So we spent a week with the Lord...
Praising Him
Seeking Him
Asking Him for wisdom.
He came through for us in a big way.
 
A scripture that really stuck out to me this week is found in Romans 12:4-5
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
 
After really focusing on Christ, and seeking Him this week, we have come to a decision as a couple to pursue another child here in the U.S.
 
We are not sure what this will look like or when it will happen.
We do feel like the Lord has a baby out there for us and wants us to continue pursuing that child.
We couldn't help Penelope.
We could not get her out of the awful situation she was born into.
Maybe if we keep fighting, we will be able to make a difference in another little ones life.
After all, if we don't fight for these orphans...
If we don't fight for these mothers who need someone to love their babies....
If we don't fight for the unwanted children....
Who will?
 
So we are going to move into this next week full of hope and feeling encouraged.
We asked for wisdom and God provided!
Thank you all so much for your prayers.


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Taking a Break.

I just enjoyed a weekend away with my sister-in-law and her husband.
I was blessed by deep conversation, lots of laughter, and plenty of relaxation.
It was a joy to watch their excitement as they wait on the birth of their first little miracle.
 
I had hoped that a little time away would bring us clarity, but it hasn't.
We are still as confused as ever why the Lord did not allow us to adoption Penelope and what we should do next.
So we have decided to take the next week, and avoid adoption.
We are not going to talk about and not going to let it consume our thoughts.
At the end of the week, we are hoping the Lord will have given us some wisdom or peace about a certain direction.
We would sure appreciate your prayers during this time.
 
We do, however have a bit of good new....
Isryelle and Boaz's investigations are complete and their visa interviews are scheduled for July 23rd.
This means, shortly after July 23rd, they will be completely ready to come home.
Unfortunately, the suspension has not been lifted and they can not come home until it is.
So we keep praying, and keep waiting.