Powerful Christmas

Our first real tree

This Christmas was a lot of things...it was fun, loving, heart-changing, Christ focused, emotional, beautiful, POWERFUL.   To be honest, last week I was not sure how I felt about Christmas this year.  I felt like I just wanted to skip this Christmas.  If I was not going to have my babies home, I did not want to celebrate a holiday that usually brings family together.  I just wanted to pause my life and wait for those babies to come home.  It only took me about a second to feel bad about these feelings because Christmas is about Christ.  It is about a the God-man who came down to an evil world for me and for them...for all of us.

Me and Jess feeding the babes at my parents house.

I had the privilege of serving on the worship team for the Christmas services.  There were five services and I got to listen to the teaching of our pastors and elders five times.  O how I was blessed.  I learned something a little different every time and I got to spend hours in the presence of our God!  That right there was exactly the Christmas I needed and always wanted.

Christmas eve tubby with the cousins.

Playing toss the baby with little Jack.

We got to spend an entire day with both my family and Gavin's family.  We had such a blast with both families!  We feel blessed to live so close to both of them.  I am so thankful that I still have amazing grandparents who I get to spend Christmas with.  I am in awe of how good God is to all of us.  Irelyn had an absolutely wonderful time this Christmas.  She was old enough to get exited about opening gifts and really enjoy her presents.  To say that her grandparents, aunts and uncles, and great grandparents spoil her would be an understatement!

Christmas Morning

Our entire Christmas weekend was simply blessed by God.  He knew exactly what I needed to keep my head above water.  I would be lying if I said I went more than 15 minutes without thinking about my babies.  I prayed for them with a fiery passion that can only come from a mothers aching heart.  I cried because I miss these kids that I have never even met so much that sometimes I can't breath.  And I laughed because I am so exited that God is entrusting them to us. Christmas was HARD without them here but God made sure that I remembered HIM. I found so much joy in Him this holiday season.  I pray and hope that this is our last holiday season without our babies.

Christmas Breakfast

Irelyn's Christmas hair...

UPDATE:  I did get a call from our family coordinator.  She said that our dossier is in Ethiopia (DTE).  It has actually been there for about two weeks.  So this means we are officially referral ready.  She still told me that the wait could be anywhere from 0-6 months.  She told me a lot of families are getting their referral in about 4-8 weeks but to plan on 6 months and then be really happy if it comes before then.  She also said things tend to slow down between now and January 7th which is the Ethiopian Christmas.  Please pray for my attitude.  I so badly want to have an attitude that God would want me to have about the waiting.  I want to be patient and wait joyfully.  It breaks my heart daily when we do not get a referral call.  Supernatural peace, patients, and joy are the only things that will get me through.

Opening Presents with Papa!

My grandparents are taking us to Disney Land this year so she got minnie mouse everything!

Fun Presents!

The horse is from us...the boots from her grandparents.

Perfection!

Something to make me feel a little closer to Africa.

Sixteen Months Old!

Well our little Irelyn is sixteen months old today!  I can not believe how fast time has gone!  Everyone warned me but o my goodness I am not ready for my baby to grow up.  These past sixteen months have been the most amazing months of our lives. Irelyn brings us more joy than we could ever have imagined.

Every day just gets better and better as she learns how to say more words and develops a stronger personality.  She has such a sweet gentle spirit mixed with a little bit fire once in a while.  We thank God for entrusting her to us for her life here on earth and we pray that she comes to know Him at a young age.  We are really enjoying training her up in the ways of the Lord.

Irelyn is now almost running all over the place.  She is FULL of energy and only takes one very short nap a day!  She says a handful of words and recently learned how to say please.  Her favorite word to say in thank you...she is very polite.  She loves her baby doll and throwing balls.  She is very sweet with her baby and already rocks, pats, and feeds her.

I spend an awful lot of time talking about our kids in Ethiopia on this blog, which makes sense since this blog was made for them.  Today I have a special prayer request.  Please pray with us for our daughters salvation.  Pray that God gives us wisdom to raise her to love Him.  She is so very special to us and today we are going to spend some time praying over her.

Here is some cuteness for today!

She really loves playing with daddies phone!

watering our first real tree.

Irelyn did not like it when it was snowing.

Cousins

Fun hair day!

Naked baby playing in the dirt!

peekaboo...we let her have popcorn...thats why it is all over the floor.

I love getting her after a long nap....

Watching the ducks.

Cutest butt ever!

Be Still

As you all know, I have had a difficult time through this process getting a hold of our adoption agency.  I have to admit that we started out with an agency that would call us regularly even if there was not update just to tell us that nothing has changed but they are still working on it....so I may be a little spoiled.  I have been feeling like all I do is think about when I will get the call that I was promised explaining where our dossier is and  I am exhausted.

So I was writing my prayer in my journal last night. Writing helps my brain to work better.  Sometimes things that I do not even know are in my head come through my pen and it helps me to understand how I am feeling.  So I started writing...and God spoke to me.

You wanna know what I heard loud and clear?  BE STILL.  I am waiting on God's timing but I would not call what I am doing being still.  My mind is always going a million miles a minute.  Every night I go to sleep frustrated that our family coordinator has not called when she said she would.  This is not what I call being still.

Maybe God does not want me to know.  Maybe something is going on that I should not know about that is for my good and His glory.  Maybe if I would just wait patiently I could grasp what God wants me to learn through all of this.

Then God led me to this verse
Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

My plans are many!  I have become too connected to my plans.  I have no idea what is going to happen with the adoption!  None of it is in my hands so why do I need to know every detail as it happens?  I don't.  The outcome will be the same regardless of how "in control" of the situation I think I am.

So my conclusion is....I will still call my family coordinator from time to time.  I do need to know some of whats going on.  But I will not call her every five seconds needing every detail of every step of this process.  Chances are our dossier is in Ethiopia and chances are we are waiting for a referral right now.  I think it might be better that I do not know and God can surprise me!  I figure if there is news, good or bad, I would get a call.

A little fun in the snow!

Update...sort of....

Well I have a little bit of an update.  I have no concrete news but at least it is something.  It has quieted my waiting heart.  As most of you know I have been checking my bank account on a daily basis waiting for a charge from FedEx.  FedEx will charge my account to send our dossier to Ethiopia.  When our dossier is in Ethiopia, we are officially waiting for a referral.  Well it has been four weeks and one day since our dossier was sent to get translated.

I called our family case worker on Friday and she told me that sometimes the charge does not show up for weeks after its been sent.  So she put in a request with the organization that has our dossier to see what is going on with our paperwork.  I am hoping to hear that our dossier is already in Ethiopia.  So I now feel like although I am waiting around with no concrete information,  our dossier could already be in Ethiopia which mean we could already be referral ready.

I have been feeling optimistic today.  I have been keeping myself busy with a sick little family and trying not to focus too much on the wait.  I have been reading lots of adoption blogs which help keep me calm while I wait.  Most of the people who are adopting from Ethiopia have crazy long wait times.  The average wait time for our old agency is 25-30 months at the moment and is increasing.  Even with all of the things that have gone wrong and all the waiting we have done, I feel very blessed that God led us to our agency and that we will have our children in our arms very soon.

T-shirt Blowout sale

We are having a heck of a time selling our T-shirts.  We invested quite a bit of money into them when we first started this process.  We watched other adopting families sell their shirts and make a pretty good profit so we figured it would work out just as well for us.  One important thing we have learned through this process is that everyone has different levels of  success with different fundraisers.

So we are having a blow-out sale!  We would really love to break even with these T-shirts.  We are selling them for $10 a piece.  This includes shipping if you necessary or we can bring it to you if you are close by.  We have both men's and women's shirts.  You can buy and pay for your shirt online by using the button on the right hand side of my blog.  If  you prefer not to use the internet to pay for things just e-mail me and we will work something else out.

Thank you all for your support so far and please let everyone know about the T-shirts.  We want to get these things moving!

My brothers modeling the shirts at our yard sale.  We also have a women's cut.

Helping Others(Sponsoring)

God has been changing our hearts so much through this whole adoption process.  He has really changed my heart when it comes to money.  I used to be all about control.  I had to make sure we had enough money in our bank account to keep us "safe" in any situation that might come about.  I never wanted to spend money on ANYTHING because I wanted a ridiculously huge buffer "just in case."

Well we have put EVERYTHING we have into this adoption and you know what....God has never blessed us more financially.  I finally realized that it is not my money!  Even if I have a million dollars sitting in my savings account, God can take it away whenever he wants.  It is His money and He wants us to be good stewards of it.  Being a good Stewart does not just mean being frugal.  It mean sharing the money with the least of these.

Before we began this adoption process, my excuse for not sponsoring a child in another country was that too many of the organizations that we would donate through are corrupt.  Now this is a true statement and there are many that are corrupt and in some cases the money does not get used for what it was intended for.  But that was still just an excuse because after I did a little research I found plenty of organizations that will help us sponsor people that I trust completely.

Then we started adopting and I knew that I wanted to help others but I figured that we need to spend our money on our children.  Otherwise there may not be enough!  Talk about thinking horizontally instead of vertically!  God kept tugging at my heart.  My husband kept telling me over and over again that even if we spent our money on something foolish, God will not leave our children as orphans.  He would also tell me that God would never punish us for being too generous.

Our church partners with a small church on a small island in Haiti.  The pastor and his wife have started an organization that built a school and now teaches the children in the village.  In Haiti, only the wealthy can go to school and have a chance to get out of poverty.  Not only are these children taught, they are fed.  For some, this is the only meal they get all day.  A few months ago, we started sponsoring a young man in Haiti.  He is 16 years old and we love him to pieces   We have one small picture of him and can get updates when we want but he has blessed our lives and we LOVE supporting him.

I follow a family who recently moved to Ethiopia to be missionaries.  They are a young couple and Gavin and I really relate to them and love being able to see their hearts for the Lord.  There names are Ian and Brittany Bentley. They recently posted a picture of a beautiful pregnant women and all it said was that she came from rough times and is having a baby.  What a brave person I thought.  I do not know what she came from but I have studied Ethiopia and I can only imagine that she is scared and struggling.  This sparked a fire in my heart.  So I contacted Brittany to ask about sponsoring a child.  I though it would be really special to sponsor someone who we could meet when we travel to Ethiopia.  Well she told me about the women I saw in the picture.   We love all three of them already and can't wait to be a part of their lives in this small way.

There is ALWAYS enough money to help others.  If you want more info about either of these organizations, you can email me.  You can also check out www.IMofH.org if you are interested in sponsoring a child from Haiti.   If you are interested in sponsoring someone from Ethiopia, visit www.steadfastlove.org.  Both of these organization are run by God fearing families.

UPDATE:  Still nothing:)  Chase.com is not working right now so I can not check our bank account to see if our dossier has sent.  It has actually been a welcomed relief...it was starting to make me crazy.  I gave in and e-mailed our coordinator on Wednesday instead of Thursday.  She was not gotten back to me yet but I plan on calling tomorrow if I do not hear from her tonight.  Keep praying that everything is going smoothly with our dossier.  It is taking longer than we thought to get to Ethiopia and we can not get a hold of anyone to confirm that everything is fine.

God's timing...for real this time!

One of our elders spoke at church this lasts Sunday.  He spoke on John 11.  There were two portions of his teaching that really stuck out to me.

I have been trusting in God throughout this whole process.  How can I not?  I have waited on his timing(I have not really had a choice).  I have had the opportunity to see how big God really is.  I have been able to witness his provision over and over again and I have watched him orchestrate events in His perfect timing.

I started thinking to myself this weekend if I am really joyfully anticipating God's timing or if I am just waiting for it because that my only option.  I have gotten to the point where when something goes wrong I do not get super upset,  I just think o that sucks...Ill just keep waiting on God's timing.  Well I am making a decision to joyfully wait.  I want to come to a hiccup in the road and say "God is moving!"

I find myself praying for a referral before a certain time or praying that we hear about our dossier soon.  Its almost like I am giving God suggestions!  How silly of me!  God's plan is so much better than mine.  I have no idea what I REALLY want or what I REALLY need.  Only God knows whats best for me and who am I to try and suggest what I think is the best.

The other part that stuck out to me is how Jesus wept when his brother in Christ died.  He loves Mary and Martha so much that their pain makes him weep.  He knows the pain that adoptive parents go through as they wait. He has felt the same pain as he waits for us to call Him our Father.  It hurts him more than it hurts  me to have His children be fatherless in Ethiopia.  We are waiting with Him....because that is His mighty plan.

I will not be asking God to give us our referral a moment early.  I want those kids in His timing...not in mine.  I have this beautiful life that I will be joyful in while I wait.  I will still have days when I will feel like the waiting is unbearable.  But there is a plan.  Time and time again I read the blogs of mothers who are past the waiting stage and on to parenting their children.  They will all agree that it was silly to every want a different plan than the one God made for them...because God's plan is perfect.

UPDATE:  There isn't really any news yet.  We are in our fourth week of waiting to hear that the dossier has been sent to Ethiopia.  We were told it would take about 3 weeks but sometimes takes 4.  I will be contacting our family coordinator at the end of this week to make sure everything is still going smoothly.

"Prepare Yourselves"

We heard the phrase "prepare yourselves" over and over again through this process.  We heard it from other adopting families as well as our adoption agency.  Our agency had us take classes to help us prepare for the negative attitudes of others when it comes to adoption.  They helped us think through what we would do when someone is negative towards us or our children.  I took these words seriously but I could not comprehend how anyone could hate adoption or children.  I knew there had to be some people out there who would not agree with what were doing but I thought they would be so few and far between, we would never come in contact with them.

Someone wrote a comment on our blog a few days ago that made the words "prepare yourselves"  come alive for us.  Someone wrote something that was just dripping with hate.  I can not even imagine that anyone could actually feel so much hate towards adoption, Christ, and children in general.

My initial reaction was not a kind one and not a Christ-like one.  So I prayed for them.  I did not feel like it...I was angry...but I did.  When I was done praying all I felt for this person was sadness.  They must be so miserable to say something so awful.  Who isn't miserable without the Lord?  And just like that another battle won in the name of the Lord!  No matter what people say or do, my family will use it to grow closer to God.

Because of this incident I have changed the settings on the comment box.  Anyone can comment(before only members could) but every comment made will come straight to me for me to OK before being posted.

Prayer Request:  Pray for the person who wrote this comment.