Pregnancy vs adoption

If any of you know me personally you know that I did not have the easiest pregnancy.  It was a blessed pregnancy,,,don't get me wrong but I was VERY uncomfortable.  I had contractions from 20 weeks on that I could not seem to tame and had to be put on medication that made me feel shaky and weak.  I was so sick in my first trimester and had a cough that made me dislocate ribs.  I also developed an issue where my throat would close up all of the sudden and I could not breath, causing me to pass out.  When I got close to the end I would have painful false labor every night that would keep me up but not produce a baby.  I wanted to experience birth as God intended it and I had our daughter at home with no pain meds. 

I can honestly say after all of that...adoption is harder!  The way I am so emotionally exhausted has to be the most difficult thing I have ever been through.  It is still a very blessed process and God has His hand on it, but it is so difficult!  My heart break every day I do not get a referral call.  My heart yearns everyday I do not have them home.  I must check my e-mail 100 times a day(not exaggerating)

Eating....
Ok yes I gained  more weight when I was pregnant.  But my weight is all over the place with this adoption. During the more intense parts of this this process I lose weight, then when it slows down I gain weight.  Eating when you pregnant is guilt free...eating when your adopting not so much.

Physical Discomfort...
You would think being pregnancy would be a lot more uncomfortable physically but it is amazing what emotional difficulty can do to you body.  There have been times in this adoption process where I have been physically ill because of emotional stress.  Now I completely believe that is the enemy and I prayed against it and it went away.  But it is still very uncomfortable that the devil can have have that much power even if just for a few minutes.  Adoption is something close to God's heart and that means the devil will try that much harder to sabotage it.

Sleeping...
Sleeping as difficult as a pregnant woman.  The morning I found out I was pregnant, I had been up all night because I just could not sleep.  Those hormones were really messing me up!  Then as I got more uncomfortable I just had a difficult time sleeping because my back wouldn't stop hurting and my hubby would not stop snoring:)  Sleeping has been difficult throughout this adoption but especially lately.  God has changed my heart towards orphans.  I am burdened by the injustice done to them so much I can not sleep at night.  My heart hurts for them so bad I can not get my mind to go blank.  Now this is not an annoying kind of insomnia.  This is the kind that gives me time to pray to God in the middle of the night on the behalf of the orphan. 

Last night was the first time I prayed for a referral for a specific day...today.  I also prayed that God would give me an attitude that pleases Him if he wants us to wait.