Be Still

As you all know, I have had a difficult time through this process getting a hold of our adoption agency.  I have to admit that we started out with an agency that would call us regularly even if there was not update just to tell us that nothing has changed but they are still working on it....so I may be a little spoiled.  I have been feeling like all I do is think about when I will get the call that I was promised explaining where our dossier is and  I am exhausted.

So I was writing my prayer in my journal last night. Writing helps my brain to work better.  Sometimes things that I do not even know are in my head come through my pen and it helps me to understand how I am feeling.  So I started writing...and God spoke to me.

You wanna know what I heard loud and clear?  BE STILL.  I am waiting on God's timing but I would not call what I am doing being still.  My mind is always going a million miles a minute.  Every night I go to sleep frustrated that our family coordinator has not called when she said she would.  This is not what I call being still.

Maybe God does not want me to know.  Maybe something is going on that I should not know about that is for my good and His glory.  Maybe if I would just wait patiently I could grasp what God wants me to learn through all of this.

Then God led me to this verse
Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

My plans are many!  I have become too connected to my plans.  I have no idea what is going to happen with the adoption!  None of it is in my hands so why do I need to know every detail as it happens?  I don't.  The outcome will be the same regardless of how "in control" of the situation I think I am.

So my conclusion is....I will still call my family coordinator from time to time.  I do need to know some of whats going on.  But I will not call her every five seconds needing every detail of every step of this process.  Chances are our dossier is in Ethiopia and chances are we are waiting for a referral right now.  I think it might be better that I do not know and God can surprise me!  I figure if there is news, good or bad, I would get a call.

A little fun in the snow!