Sunday, July 6, 2014

Our Decision

We have taken a week to really pray and reflect on our current situation.
We have had such a rough go in our international adoption journey, we just thought our domestic journey would be a breeze.
We were pretty shocked by the loss of Penelope and it left us feeling completely helpless and confused.
 
Last week, we really weren't sure if we would keep pursuing a domestic adoption or not.
Emotionally, we are exhausted and don't really feel like going through the process again.
Its hard waiting for a match and then waiting for a due date....never really knowing if you are really going to end up with a child at the end.
We love ALL of these children so deeply that having two of them living on the other side of the world and one who will never come home is incredibly draining.
Part of us wanted to just give up on domestic adoption and start building our family the "old fashion way."
Part of us still felt God's gentle nudging to continue on.
 
We are also feeling pretty stretched financially.
When thinking about if we should continue on to another match or not, fiances were something we were definitely considering.
We want to be good Stuarts of the Lords money and want to be sure where He is telling us to spend it.
 
We also had some people come to us and tell us that they do not believe its Gods will for us to continue on this road.
There are people who feel like this failed adoption is a sign that we need to stop adopting kids.
People that feel that our own desire to adopt a child is keeping us from doing what the Lord wants us to do.
 
So we spent a week with the Lord...
Praising Him
Seeking Him
Asking Him for wisdom.
He came through for us in a big way.
 
A scripture that really stuck out to me this week is found in Romans 12:4-5
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
 
After really focusing on Christ, and seeking Him this week, we have come to a decision as a couple to pursue another child here in the U.S.
 
We are not sure what this will look like or when it will happen.
We do feel like the Lord has a baby out there for us and wants us to continue pursuing that child.
We couldn't help Penelope.
We could not get her out of the awful situation she was born into.
Maybe if we keep fighting, we will be able to make a difference in another little ones life.
After all, if we don't fight for these orphans...
If we don't fight for these mothers who need someone to love their babies....
If we don't fight for the unwanted children....
Who will?
 
So we are going to move into this next week full of hope and feeling encouraged.
We asked for wisdom and God provided!
Thank you all so much for your prayers.


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