Why we REALLY left our agency - Part 1

Here is the scoop.

We have had to keep our story on the down low for a while now because we were trying to get some money back from our agency.  It looks like that is not going to happen so we now want to share.

We want to be honest and tell you guys about why we really left our agency.

It was one of the most difficult decisions we ever had to make.

I want to make sure to start out by saying that we do not think it is wrong for people to adopt from Ethiopia.  We do not think it is wrong to pursue infant adoption.  We don't think it is wrong for people to use the agency we were with.  We simply felt like it was wrong for US  to use the agency were with.

 

I have told you guys that we left because we found our kids.  Well that is partly true.

What I didn't tell you is that we did not find our kids until after we decided to terminate our contract with our previous agency.

We had heard some very unsettling information about our agency and the orphanage they work with about six months ago.  We shook it off. 

 

"We have put too much money into this adoption."

"Those were a few bad cases, ours won't be like that."

"Its in God's hands, whatever will happen will happen."
"No agency is perfect."

These are the things we told ourselves and the reasons we did not leave this agency sooner.

 

I could not shake the feeling that we were not where we were supposed to be.  I was anxious and nervous.  I was having a really hard time resting in the Lord.  I was searching for waiting children although I knew I could not adopt them because we were already waiting for a referral.  I just did not feel comfortable with the things I was hearing about our agency and did not know what to do about it.

Then a sweet friend sent me an e-mail and asked if there is any way we could switch agencies without losing too much money.  I told her that there was not way.  We were about $25,000 into this adoption and it was all considered non-refundable.  I told her that Gavin and I would do more research about the agency.  I did want to find the truth and know what we were working with.  I wanted to be prepared for the difficulties we might face because we were using this agency. 
The information I found out completely shocked me.

We started getting names and numbers.  I began calling people who have had bad experiences with our previous agency.  The things I was learning disgusted me and broke my heart.  The amount of dishonestly that was taking place within our own agency made us both second guess everything we were doing.  We finally realized that international adoption is not always the beautiful process of giving an orphan a home. 

We both felt so sad about everything we learned.  We felt like everything we had thought international adoption was all about was just not true any more.  I began feeling like I did not want to get a referral.  We were told to expect a referral any time and I felt like I needed more time to figure out what to do.  This was supposed to be such a happy time but we were heart broken and confused.

So we started praying....Big time!

Keep watching for part two:)